You smell like stripper and shame
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
it's not cheating when I paid for it
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
