Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Randomize
