Your tits are I can't wait for
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
And then he peed in my hair
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