Christians are straight up FREAKS
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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