forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
