i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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