My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
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