She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Randomize
