Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Randomize
