best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
