I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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