If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize