How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize