I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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