a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
