just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
