11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize