wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
