would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
