You surviving the open bar?
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it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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