no. you can't hotbox the world.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize