we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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