At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
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