Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
