my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Randomize
