I feel like I'm in dance class right now
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Randomize
