My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
