For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
