It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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