he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
