Pregnant stripper...not hot.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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