Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Are we still banned from the library?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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