they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Randomize
