Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Randomize
