i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
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