you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
