hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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