my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
