I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
