Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Randomize
