she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
