I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
kristin has been a bad kristin
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
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