he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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