My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
