i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
Randomize
