In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Randomize
