we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
