I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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