What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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