omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
