she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Boobs are out for the taking
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
