Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
