Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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