Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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