Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
