did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
BRING THE BAGELS
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize