"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
