Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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