Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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