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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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